Mea Culpa Plus a Rant

Lately it seems as if lots of my friends have been posting on their status something like this "Jesus died on the cross for me...and I am not ashamed of it...so I am going to leave this on my status for an hour...not many of you will...lets see who else does" Now I am not the kind of person who likes to be critical of how other people would like to live out their faith. Nor do I think that putting this as a status update is bad. In fact I am glad you're "not ashamed" I mean the only things that bother me is the assumption that I am "ashamed"If I don't follow suit and post the very same message for at least an hour.I don't think this is necessarily the litmus test that I am or am not living a Christian Life. I don't think there is a person on my friends list who does not know that I believe in God. That the intervention of Jesus in my life has changed everything. The other thing is I am annoyed by the fact that everything I don't copy and paste the dumb thing I feel GUILTY about it. When many of my status updates talk about God and much of my life is ministry I pass over those posts and feel bad about myself as a Christian. When I really think about it I get over it real quick as it is just a knee jerk reaction but it annoys me whenever I find I am susceptible. I love real posts from people who are experiencing the realness of God. I love it when people talk about their church and the things going on for them. I am just tired of feeling guilty...anyone else?
To rid myself of false feelings of guilt here are 10 things I do for/with God that I am excited about
1. Madi (2 and a half year old tiny dictator) won't go to bed which has been great for my prayer life
2. I love to serve my church in our band I have never been more challenged musically and worshipally (not a word) than I have been at the Pathway
3. By default I am half of the Youth and Young Adult ministry team...never thought I would be doing this again but it is so gratifying to see the hunger of our young people for God
4. I serve on our leadership team (mostly I am comic relief)
5. I love to talk about God with Kyle and now Madi, Jazz and Eli talk with me about God too
6. I got to take a trip to worsley where I was supposed to lead a couple break out groups and teach some people stuff but what truly happened is the worsley women reminded me what life is all about.
7. I think I am a good mom a thoroughly spiritual occupation and a realization of many of my dreams
8. God is teaching me how to forgive (I have certainly not arrived but He is leading me one small yes at a time)
9. Recently I noticed I have a great relationship with my mom. Something I have longed for all my life but my immaturity and stubbornness kept from me for much too long, God IS working in me (slowly)
10. No matter how long it takes me I do eventually return to my true home with Jesus. He is inside me I can never walk away from Him (because you can't walk away from your insides) He reminds me He is so near and eventually I listen.

Kahlua Pig

"This is the best Pork I HAVE EVER TASTED" exclaimed my dad. I had made a Kalua Pig for our Christmas Luau. (see post bellow) It truly was the best pork I had ever tasted as well. I had to share the recipe with you as my readers. If you would like to host a luau of your own this is an easy can't be beat recipe for pork. I did lots of research and read many recipes but made many changes to it in the end so I cannot credit any one recipe from which this was adapted.

KALUA PIG

4-5 pound Pork Butt Roast
2 tbsp liquid smoke
4-5 banana peels
5-6 Ti Leaves
Butchers twine

Rub liquid smoke all over Pork Butt Roast, wrap roast completely in banana peels (you can use discarded banana's for a Hawaiian smoothie later.) wrap roast in Ti leaves (very hard to find, I finally found them by calling a florist is desperation and they knew exactly what I needed) Tie the whole thing together with butchers twine so it won't fall apart in the oven. Place the Roast in the oven at 350 F. The best way to ensure a well cooked roast is to use a meat thermometer. Turn oven up to 400 after the first hour has passed. Meat will take approximately 30 mins per pound of meat. Using a meat thermometer allow the meat to reach 145 F then remove it from the oven. Let the meat sit for 15 minutes to ensure juices settle in the meat. Temperature will continue to increase by 5-10 F as the meat sits. Slice the pork and serve hot. Enjoy

Mela Kalikimaha

This year both my sister and I will be spending the holidays in Louisiana with our in-laws. As a result we had to hold an early Christmas celebration with our local family. Our Christmas traditions are varied and have been gathered from various places and people through the years. Dad is French Canadian so he likes to have a french Canadian meal on Christmas Eve and then open presents that evening. Mom thinks opening presents "early" ruins Christmas. JP (22, brother, basement dweller) doesn't care as long as no one forgets to buy him gifts (this hardened once but that is a story for another blog). Mom hates to shop, Dad LOVES to shop and he always gets the right things so he shops for everyone. Christine (sister, Mother of Jazz 4 and Eli 3) just likes to party.

Honestly my mom didn't like Christmas much when we were kids because it forced her to do all the things she didn't like and thought she wasn't very good at. ie: shopping (before Dad took it over a few years back) cooking, decorating ect... She took on those roles because she thought it was what she was supposed to do as a wife and mother. But she hated those things, we as kids thought she just didn't like Christmas, we had to become adults before we really figured out what was really going on. If we were being honest everyone hates doing things they don't think they are good at. Who wants a whole season that shows us all our weak spots.

As we all grew up and had families we have slowly divided up the responsibilities of holidays based on what we are all good at. Dad shops, he grins as he runs out the door to the mall, his credit card hot in his hands he returns and smoke is coming out of his wallet as he lugs in his gifts for all the grand kids. Christine picks up decorations and fun things to do on Christmas. This year we did a Hawaiian Luau for Christmas. There were flowers, palm trees and even a huge angel fish we blew up. The guys play video games while I do what I like best COOKING!!! I made Kalua Pig, Pancit and salad we had pineapple and papaya for desert. We opened gifts on the 11th of December. All in all we had a great Luau it was beautiful, the food was great and Mom played in the hot tub with the kids which as it turns out is what she is BEST at. Merry Christmas!!! or Mela Kahlikimaha as they say in Hawaii

Just Scootin' Along

I was looking through my facebook info the other day to make sure all of it was still current..I still love classic novels and I still can watch every episode of Criminal minds in a weekend (given the opportunity of course)
I got to the occupation section of the form and saw that I had put "Hat Wearer" as my occupation.
Before I became a wife and mother it was easy to define myself. I was what I did. I was a church planter catalyst. I was a youth pastor, I was a musician.
Now that I am a mother I feel like defining myself is an impossibility.
I remember why I put "hat wearer" in the first place because I could not condense my life into any single category.
The truth is I wear many different "hats"
I am one third of the way through a Masters of divinity degree only 60 credits to go baby!!!
I am Worship Director at The Pathway Church a position I love not for the huge 0$ pay check but for the connection we all feel as a family Sunday morning.
I am almost halfway in my battle to lose 80lbs by May 2011.
Most importantly I am a wife and mother. I try everyday to make the right decisions for my family. Sometimes as simple as "do the laundry or play Lego with Madi?"
The fact is I truly believe that everyday I do or say something that Madi will need therapy for later in life. I am her mother and I am sure I have messed her up already in some irreparable way. Luckily she has a wonderful Dad and I pray everyday that I wont mess her up more than he can fix her.
I can sometimes be weighed down by criticism. My feelings are not easily hurt and I don't often feel embarrassed. I enjoy a good joke at my expense. As a result people think they can say whatever they want to me, people say to me I did this or said this because I know you can take it, and I can. But sometimes I have bad days like everyone else and on those days I honestly feel as if I am trying to pull a double wide on a scooter.
We all need some encouragement sometimes. In the Bible God encourages us over and over again. "Be strong and courageous" "run the race so that you win the prize" "Romans 15:4
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
The truth is we all have those days. God speaks to us through the scriptures and encourages us to "have hope"

What would you do while you still could?

3 months ago I began a forced journey toward fitness. One of my best friends Christina asked me to join a booty boot camp with her. I made MANY excuses. It’s too expensive; who will watch my baby while Kyle is away? Christina went so far as to pay half of my fee for the boot camp. My brother JP babysat and my church and family kept encouraging me to stick with it.
After the first session of boot camp as I limped out feeling like death
Christina says “This is great training for the ALS Run in June!”
I say “Ya this is great training for the ALS WALK in June”
She says “You’re running this year”
Me (laughing) “I’m walking this year”
She “No you’re running”
We decided to run to and from an event that Saturday. I a grand total of 13 minutes and 1.5km I had a long way to go and only 9 weeks to get there. We did 8 weeks of booty boot camp twice a week. I ran twice a week and made sure to exercise 6 days a week. All the time the 8km run was looming.
As the run got closer, there began to be TV advertisements for the ALS run. AT the end of the ads it always asks the question “what would you do while you still could?’ the facts are that a person with ALS looses the use of their arms and legs after two years with the disease, and I have use of both.
The day of the run came faster than I thought it could. I barely slept the night before and had to call our Kyle’s mom Kim to help me to relax and focus on the right things.
We lead a church service at 8:30am and 156 people attended. Cesar preached about how God does not change and he led everyone in a prayer for salvation. One man prayed to receive Christ and spoke to Cesar after. I am sure Pastor Jesse and Jesus were watching and cheering. Pastor Jesse probably hosted the party in heaven afterwards then He and Jesus and Paul probably took on Moses and Noah and the ark angel Gabriel in a three on three-basketball tournament.
The walk started at 10 and our sane friends left us to enjoy the beautiful 5km walk. I started to feel sick. We began to run at 10:28. This was the moment we had been training for. Christine (sister) ran with me and my friend Marilynn Bartley. It was hot and hard. We got cramps and my legs felt like lead. I got to km 6 at the top of a brutal hill and I turned to Christine and said “I don’t think I can do this” she yelled back at me “YES YOU CAN!!!”
I just prayed and prayed then we were in sight of the finish line I saw so many green shirts the color for our team Jesse’s girls. Then as they saw us I heard all this yelling and screaming. They were cheering us in, Christine said “can you sprint?” I said, “I don’t have anything left.” Then I saw Kathy Morales standing at the finish line cheering and I thought about all the people I knew were praying for me. So I sprinted and crossed the finish line.
As happy as I am that I ran 8km it meant so much more to do it for a cause like ALS. My sister said it best she said, “were running for Pastor Jesse and living for Jesus”
Next year we hope to run again and raise more money but hopefully by next year they will have found the cure and we can just run in celebration.

My favorite ZOO animal

My sister Christine(heretofore referred to as Steen)and I LOVE the Calgary Zoo. We have many reasons for this love. The kids each have their favorite animals. Eli’s(3) favorite is the Potamus (commonly referred to as a Hippo) Jasmine(4) loves the giraffes and elephants as well as the baby gorilla. They both love the new dinosaurs that move. Madi (18 months) likes it all. My sister and I have a favorite animal as well. We like to observe them in their natural habitat so we have to be very stealth. The Latin term for this animal is Zooeus Mominus however they are commonly referred to as the Zoo Mom. The Zoo Mom travels most commonly in an SUV but may also be seen in high end sedans if lucky. She hides her face with layers of makeup and HUGE movie star sunglasses. The Zoo Mom can never be seen without perfectly coifed hair and usually travels in packs.
Zoo Mom’s accessorize with designer bags, strollers well designed babies. Zoo mom babies never puke on a Zoo Mom because no self respecting Zoo Mom would EVER have puke on their perfectly pressed outfit.
Zoo Mom’s push their starched and clean strollers in their designer jeans tucked into knee high boots. They sip late’s and flip their hair.
To properly view a zoo mom you must appear to be beyond their notice. The key is in the details and your full commitment to your role.
First it is suggested that you drive an old blue jeep, preferably named Bob but any jeep will do as long as it is older than your husband.
Second taken your stroller and pour diet coke, Cheerios, milk, donuts, cookie, PB and J sandwich. Make sure to rub it all in so the stains REALLY set it in properly. Make sure to leave it out in the rain by accident a few times.
Third grab the only clean clothes you own…put them on. Hair in ponytail…makeup optional…last nights remnant is fine.
Fourth bring your completely normal baby with you. Let her breathe and she will become completely filthy all on her own.
Fifth bring your sister Steen and her normal kids Jazzy and Eli.
Sixth observe away, if the Zoo Moms notice you it will only be with looks of pity.
(the pic is of Eli at the zoo)

Freedom!!!

“The more we own the more it owns us.” We strive everyday to be truly free. Free of debt or free of our unhealthy habits but what does freedom truly look like. Each day we are inundated with new things we “NEED.” A house, new pots and pans, a night out on the town. I need the new book, computer, purse. None of these things are inherently bad unless we give them more than what they deserve. The new “thing” will never make me happy. So why do I expect it to again and again. I keep believing the lie which says the more of a consumer I am the HAPPIER I will be. It is one of the many lies which has power over me. Another is Skinny=Happy, or what I do everyday as a mother to Madi (18months) is not very important. I am enslaved to these lies and they influence me almost daily. I know they are lies but I continue to believe them. The truth is the lie will continue to have power as long as I keep telling it to myself. I am enslaved to the things which should serve me.
When I think about it I lie to myself about a lot of stuff. If the truth is hard or uncomfortable I lie. If the truth is painful I lie, and I know I am not alone. For example.
Lie… I am overweight because I had a baby, and I have a slow metabolism, and I am a heavy person to begin with, and I am weight loss resistant, and I have a handicapped foot.
Truth… I am overweight because I ate too much and didn’t exercise!!! I actually do have a handicapped foot but it didn’t make me fat.
My enslavement is voluntary I choose to believe all the lies. As Christians we have died with Jesus on the cross. Like Paul says in Romans 6
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

These verses set us free from our enslavement. Christ has won victory over sin and death so we are free. But how do we as freed people respond to this new freedom? We choose to live it as Christ lived. To give our whole selves to work of God. In Christ we are made ALIVE. This is REAL freedom, sin is death but in Christ there is LIFE.