My favorite ZOO animal

My sister Christine(heretofore referred to as Steen)and I LOVE the Calgary Zoo. We have many reasons for this love. The kids each have their favorite animals. Eli’s(3) favorite is the Potamus (commonly referred to as a Hippo) Jasmine(4) loves the giraffes and elephants as well as the baby gorilla. They both love the new dinosaurs that move. Madi (18 months) likes it all. My sister and I have a favorite animal as well. We like to observe them in their natural habitat so we have to be very stealth. The Latin term for this animal is Zooeus Mominus however they are commonly referred to as the Zoo Mom. The Zoo Mom travels most commonly in an SUV but may also be seen in high end sedans if lucky. She hides her face with layers of makeup and HUGE movie star sunglasses. The Zoo Mom can never be seen without perfectly coifed hair and usually travels in packs.
Zoo Mom’s accessorize with designer bags, strollers well designed babies. Zoo mom babies never puke on a Zoo Mom because no self respecting Zoo Mom would EVER have puke on their perfectly pressed outfit.
Zoo Mom’s push their starched and clean strollers in their designer jeans tucked into knee high boots. They sip late’s and flip their hair.
To properly view a zoo mom you must appear to be beyond their notice. The key is in the details and your full commitment to your role.
First it is suggested that you drive an old blue jeep, preferably named Bob but any jeep will do as long as it is older than your husband.
Second taken your stroller and pour diet coke, Cheerios, milk, donuts, cookie, PB and J sandwich. Make sure to rub it all in so the stains REALLY set it in properly. Make sure to leave it out in the rain by accident a few times.
Third grab the only clean clothes you own…put them on. Hair in ponytail…makeup optional…last nights remnant is fine.
Fourth bring your completely normal baby with you. Let her breathe and she will become completely filthy all on her own.
Fifth bring your sister Steen and her normal kids Jazzy and Eli.
Sixth observe away, if the Zoo Moms notice you it will only be with looks of pity.
(the pic is of Eli at the zoo)