Run run run

I'm signed up for a half marathon on February 23. It sounded like a great idea when we registered. Then it seemed scary but doable when we bought plane tickets to California. Now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry till the 24th. Soon after I began to train 20 weeks to the race, I would run 3 miles and then my feet would go numb. After another mile they would start to hurt and then after another mile the pain would be sooooo bad that I would not even be able to walk. I bought new shoes, new socks, changed my running habits, pain pain pain. I needed to be able to run more than 3 miles about 10 more than that actually. Finally after Christmas I was diagnosed with Morton's Metatarsalgia. It's an issue with the ball of both my feet. The short version is I don't have enough space between my toe bones for my nerves. When I run it builds up fibrous tissue around my nerves. That lack of space and extra tissue causes the pain. Yesterday I got orthotics put in to my new running shoes. In 20 mins I am headed out to run more than 3 miles for the first time in a month. I have to run 13 miles in a month. To say that I am scared is an understatement. I am terrified. I realized something today as I got dressed to go out. I cam only do today's workout today. I can't do tomorrow's workout or the next days. I can't do a months worth of work today. I can only run today's miles today and pray to be able to run tomorrow's miles tomorrow.

An Open Letter to My Daughter.

You are not powerless in any relationship. You ALWAYS have choices you can make that will change your life. You are never stuck anywhere. You choose to stay or go. No one makes you feel one way or another, you get to chose how your emotions respond in any situation. Do not believe the lie that you are a powerless to change your life. God, the most powerful being in existence, chose to send his Son for you. So that you could have the chance at a life without limits. God chose to love you in the most scandalous way possible. He loves you completely before you even have the chance to choose wether you will love him back. Think long and hard about loving God. It is not always easy to love God. Not everyone will agree with your choice to do it. But you do have this choice to make one day when you are ready.

The Return of a Long Lost

It's been awhile, I could apologize profusely or simply just try to do better. Last post march 2012. So much is different since then. Here's point form Moved from Canada to Louisiana USA. In the middle of the moving process we found out we would be a family of four and Mac was born January 4th of 2013. I began working as youth director in my church here in rural Louisiana. I could blog for DAYS WEEKS MONTHS on the differences between Louisiana and canada but I wanted this blog post to be about home. Having just returned from Christmas in Canada with lots of snow, family, friends the idea of home is on my mind. People in Canada asked if I was glad to be home. Many of my friends in Louisiana asked if I enjoyed going home for Christmas. the truth is home is a puzzle I have not completely solved yet. I no longer live in Canada although I will always long to be there. I live here in the US. The problem lies that since moving here I've changed and my family and friends have changed in Canada so I don't really belong there anymore. To my Canadian family and friends I'm different. I don't fit in. Here in the US I am in much the same situation. I will always be Canadian in many ways and an outsider. As welcoming and kind as most Americans are I am still not one of them. Of course as many of those who know me would attest I have almost never fit in anywhere and I usually revel in the idea that I am undefinable. A missionary once spoke to our church about how their kids were Canadian but grew up in Africa so they never quite fit in either place. She called them third culture kids. I like that idea. I get to create my own culture without boundaries. It is freeing,it feels like home.

My Life On The List

My brother recently got engaged, we are so excited!!! His fiance, Jessie, is wonderful, she is kind and quiet loves God. What more can a sister ask for her favorite brother. I warned her however about wedding planning. "It can be really stressful" I warned. I think the best way to counteract this sort of stress is to sit down and make a list of the things that need to be done. Then you can go through and make decisions and cross things off the list. I love lists, they lay out your tasks and you can plan out how you will accomplish something. The hardest part is not knowing exactly what needs to be done. If you know what to do you can just move forward in a steady way with the confidence that everything will have its time and will get done. I love that.
As a mom and wife I make lists all the time, mostly in my head but lots of times in I write them down. Make fun if you will but it helps me to organize my flighty thoughts. I make lists of tasks; laundry, change the sheets, wash the floor, bathe The Madi!!! I even make lists of things that aren't really tangible; find a way to thank Kyle for being so caring while I was ill. Make sure to make Carolyn feel special on her birthday this weekend ect...
Last year around this time I began to really focus on getting healthy, not only physically but spiritually and emotionally as well. I was having such a hard time finding moments when I could focus on growing whether that meant growing spiritually or simply getting to boot camp so I could grow in my physical health. It was costing money to see my trainer and money for gas to drive to boot camp. It was costing me time away from The Madi, the tiny dictator who wakes me up every day in her squeaky voice with her fuzzy hair. I began to wonder whether this journey was worth the cost I kept paying. Surely it is selfish of me to devote so much time/money to this?
I was praying (which in this stage of life for me means doing the dishes while thinking about God) and God brought to mind how I usually work out issues, I make lists. usually in a situation like this I would do a pros and cons list but God just told me to make a regular to do list. I did and it read what most moms lists read like. at the top were my family and ministry then things you would think of as necessary chores that enable us to live. God made me examine this list closely and revealed to me all of my priorities were centered around other people. He made me put myself at the top. What an arrogant thing to do I thought. I can't be at the top!?!
God showed me the next few weeks, as I processed what He could mean by putting myself at the top, God showed me more and more my focus on my health could be guided by Him. I could pursue holiness instead of vanity and this pursuit would be the best thing for my husband and The Madi. This pursuit would even be best for my ministry and yes even for my chores. For the last year I have fought to keep myself on the list. I battle the feelings of selfishness away. Again I am learning the fine art of self discipline for the purpose of holiness. My life on the List is not easy but I can look back now to the place I started and marvel at the distance God has taken me, in weight loss, in emotional maturity, and in spiritual growth. Even though "the road stretches ever onward" as they say I know I am not alone.

You Can't Dive Into a Shallow pool

I never thought I would blog so much about weight loss. Mostly because I don't like blogs about weight loss. Or maybe I don't like the comments sections where people argue about the most effective things and do's and don'ts. I have never thought that one way of losing weight is effective for everyone. Some do weight watchers and others do it on their own. I see a trainer/life coach who meets with me and wades through my rationalizations and excuses to the heart of my issues. She knows me really well we grew up together in fact. So she is able to say things to me that others could not.
I confess my weight loss motives have not always been good. Even though the goal of my weight loss is better physical health I confess sometimes I just want to be thinner so I look good. The problem with this feeling is how shallow it is. Because my goal has no depth I am unmotivated and lack the self discipline to really do the hard work required. I mean you can't dive into a shallow pool.
So what can motivate me? What can I do to reach physical health? The answer to this question is so much more complicated it seems. I have to tackle so much more than calories in and calories burnt. I have to deal with my emotional and spiritual health as well.
If I was being honest with you I would say becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy is a much scarier prospect to me than simply going on a diet. But I cannot have purpose in a search for vanity something that fades away so quickly. I cannot simply diet. Then where can I find purpose in this struggle? I have asked myself this question over and over and finally found the answer.
As I have begun to focus on nourishing my body spiritually, changing from being overfed physically and undernourished spiritually I have been reading and rereading my book by Lysa Teurkeust called "Made to Crave; Satisfying Your Deepest Desires With God Not Food" She comes to the conclusion that diets are not enough for lasting change. And says the following.
I am not on a diet I am on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self discipline for the purpose of Holiness.
I cannot find purpose in a baby pool of vanity. If I want to truly change I have to take a journey with Jesus and learn the fine art of self discipline my purpose to dive into the deep end of Holiness.

At Long Last

I know, I know it has been much too long. I won't make excuses I just got out of the habit of sharing my journey. So here we go again I am putting an effort out to be more consistent and and a better updater for the 3.4 of you who read this, 2.4 of which are directly related to me.
I want to relate to you 3.4 how much I have learned since I last posted almost a year ago. I will most likely post many times before I can truly say I have captured the journey I have been on since then.
As faithful followers (ha ha ha) will know I have had a lifelong battle with my weight. I roller coaster up and down and up again. I am on the lookout for the ANSWER to the huge secret of how thin people do it. To tell you the truth there is nothing you can tell me about weight gain/loss I don't know. I know how it works, I know how many calories are in everything and how much I can burn in an hour at zumba. So if information is not my problem what is?
A year ago I began seeing Abby, I call her my trainer but life coach is probably more accurate. After the birth of my daughter Madeleine (the Madi) my weight had ballooned to an unimaginable 230lbs. Just looking at that number makes me cringe. I had managed to lose some of the weight but mostly I had just yo-yoed my way a little lighter. My life was great I was a mother to a gifted two year old, my husband is a saint a gift sent from heaven. I was being fulfilled in my ministry calling but I felt God nudging me to confront some of the things in me that were broken. I knew I needed help.
Abby began by teaching me to "eat clean" I could talk about this forever since it has been the answer for me in terms of nutrition, but this post is about something very different.
Abby and I came together and initially I lost weight because I loved eating clean it seemed like the ANSWER. But I forgot my issue was not with knowledge, then what was it. As weeks went by and I began to plateau I became more and more frustrated why was I determined to self destruct. I would do well and then sabotage myself. I would say no no no and then one HUGE YES. I was out of control. As Abby and I sat in my kitchen with a cup of tea and I cried she said something a normal trainer would not.
"Anita we have been focusing on nutrition and exercise for weeks, but there is more than simply those two things going on here. I think we need to set those two aside and focus on your spiritual life for a few weeks."
"what does that have to do with anything?" I asked I figured all I needed was to be more disciplined to exert more control over myself and then I would be able to conquer this thing on my own.
She challenged me that I needed to find a bible study or program that could help me to begin to tackle some of the issues I was facing. I questioned in my mind whether such a thing even existed. If the ANSWER was out there I would know about it. She left and I simply said to God " I don't know where to look for this thing I am supposed to do so You better just drop it in my lap." That was Tuesday
Wednesday Nothing
Thursday Nothing in fact I forgot completely that I was supposed to be looking for anything.
Friday my mom comes home from a speaking engagement and invites me and The Madi over for tea and toast on the deck. It is truly unseasonably warm for March and we drink our tea and bask in the sun as we chat about her trip and various other stuff. Mom wants to someday turn her books into a study with an accompanying DVD set for ladies groups. I think it is a great idea.
She says "At the event where I was there were other people also speaking and so I went to one of the presenters tables and just grabbed one of her sets of DVD, participants guide and book. The thing is I don't really have time to do the study and learn how to put one of these things together. I am already doing a devotional study and I am just entering my busy season of speaking. Would you mind just doing this study and watching the DVD and letting me know some of the tricks and how it works."
I'm a stay at home mom so I can carve out down time when I need to as long as I don't mind being interrupted 80 times so I agree to glance through the study and promising to report back I shove it in my purse.
Saturday Nothing
Sunday recall I am supposed to be looking for something spiritual to do. I get a little annoyed at God since he was supposed to drop it in my lap. Still Nothing.
Monday panic!!! Abby comes tomorrow I have found nothing. Mom texts to see how the study I'm supposed to be doing is going...oops fish study out of bottom of HUGE purse I carry that doubles as diaper bag and all purpose travel bag.
I grab a cup of tea put the Madi down for a nap and put in the DVD, for the first time I glance at the title of the book in my hands MADE TO CRAVE; Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With GOD, Not FOOD by Lysa Terkeurst.
I call mom tell her the whole story of Abby and the challenge of my prayer and His answer in my purse. She says "Neen (my longtime nickname) The thing is when I went to her table to buy a set I didn't even look that was literally the only one she had left."

Mea Culpa Plus a Rant

Lately it seems as if lots of my friends have been posting on their status something like this "Jesus died on the cross for me...and I am not ashamed of it...so I am going to leave this on my status for an hour...not many of you will...lets see who else does" Now I am not the kind of person who likes to be critical of how other people would like to live out their faith. Nor do I think that putting this as a status update is bad. In fact I am glad you're "not ashamed" I mean the only things that bother me is the assumption that I am "ashamed"If I don't follow suit and post the very same message for at least an hour.I don't think this is necessarily the litmus test that I am or am not living a Christian Life. I don't think there is a person on my friends list who does not know that I believe in God. That the intervention of Jesus in my life has changed everything. The other thing is I am annoyed by the fact that everything I don't copy and paste the dumb thing I feel GUILTY about it. When many of my status updates talk about God and much of my life is ministry I pass over those posts and feel bad about myself as a Christian. When I really think about it I get over it real quick as it is just a knee jerk reaction but it annoys me whenever I find I am susceptible. I love real posts from people who are experiencing the realness of God. I love it when people talk about their church and the things going on for them. I am just tired of feeling guilty...anyone else?
To rid myself of false feelings of guilt here are 10 things I do for/with God that I am excited about
1. Madi (2 and a half year old tiny dictator) won't go to bed which has been great for my prayer life
2. I love to serve my church in our band I have never been more challenged musically and worshipally (not a word) than I have been at the Pathway
3. By default I am half of the Youth and Young Adult ministry team...never thought I would be doing this again but it is so gratifying to see the hunger of our young people for God
4. I serve on our leadership team (mostly I am comic relief)
5. I love to talk about God with Kyle and now Madi, Jazz and Eli talk with me about God too
6. I got to take a trip to worsley where I was supposed to lead a couple break out groups and teach some people stuff but what truly happened is the worsley women reminded me what life is all about.
7. I think I am a good mom a thoroughly spiritual occupation and a realization of many of my dreams
8. God is teaching me how to forgive (I have certainly not arrived but He is leading me one small yes at a time)
9. Recently I noticed I have a great relationship with my mom. Something I have longed for all my life but my immaturity and stubbornness kept from me for much too long, God IS working in me (slowly)
10. No matter how long it takes me I do eventually return to my true home with Jesus. He is inside me I can never walk away from Him (because you can't walk away from your insides) He reminds me He is so near and eventually I listen.

Kahlua Pig

"This is the best Pork I HAVE EVER TASTED" exclaimed my dad. I had made a Kalua Pig for our Christmas Luau. (see post bellow) It truly was the best pork I had ever tasted as well. I had to share the recipe with you as my readers. If you would like to host a luau of your own this is an easy can't be beat recipe for pork. I did lots of research and read many recipes but made many changes to it in the end so I cannot credit any one recipe from which this was adapted.

KALUA PIG

4-5 pound Pork Butt Roast
2 tbsp liquid smoke
4-5 banana peels
5-6 Ti Leaves
Butchers twine

Rub liquid smoke all over Pork Butt Roast, wrap roast completely in banana peels (you can use discarded banana's for a Hawaiian smoothie later.) wrap roast in Ti leaves (very hard to find, I finally found them by calling a florist is desperation and they knew exactly what I needed) Tie the whole thing together with butchers twine so it won't fall apart in the oven. Place the Roast in the oven at 350 F. The best way to ensure a well cooked roast is to use a meat thermometer. Turn oven up to 400 after the first hour has passed. Meat will take approximately 30 mins per pound of meat. Using a meat thermometer allow the meat to reach 145 F then remove it from the oven. Let the meat sit for 15 minutes to ensure juices settle in the meat. Temperature will continue to increase by 5-10 F as the meat sits. Slice the pork and serve hot. Enjoy

Mela Kalikimaha

This year both my sister and I will be spending the holidays in Louisiana with our in-laws. As a result we had to hold an early Christmas celebration with our local family. Our Christmas traditions are varied and have been gathered from various places and people through the years. Dad is French Canadian so he likes to have a french Canadian meal on Christmas Eve and then open presents that evening. Mom thinks opening presents "early" ruins Christmas. JP (22, brother, basement dweller) doesn't care as long as no one forgets to buy him gifts (this hardened once but that is a story for another blog). Mom hates to shop, Dad LOVES to shop and he always gets the right things so he shops for everyone. Christine (sister, Mother of Jazz 4 and Eli 3) just likes to party.

Honestly my mom didn't like Christmas much when we were kids because it forced her to do all the things she didn't like and thought she wasn't very good at. ie: shopping (before Dad took it over a few years back) cooking, decorating ect... She took on those roles because she thought it was what she was supposed to do as a wife and mother. But she hated those things, we as kids thought she just didn't like Christmas, we had to become adults before we really figured out what was really going on. If we were being honest everyone hates doing things they don't think they are good at. Who wants a whole season that shows us all our weak spots.

As we all grew up and had families we have slowly divided up the responsibilities of holidays based on what we are all good at. Dad shops, he grins as he runs out the door to the mall, his credit card hot in his hands he returns and smoke is coming out of his wallet as he lugs in his gifts for all the grand kids. Christine picks up decorations and fun things to do on Christmas. This year we did a Hawaiian Luau for Christmas. There were flowers, palm trees and even a huge angel fish we blew up. The guys play video games while I do what I like best COOKING!!! I made Kalua Pig, Pancit and salad we had pineapple and papaya for desert. We opened gifts on the 11th of December. All in all we had a great Luau it was beautiful, the food was great and Mom played in the hot tub with the kids which as it turns out is what she is BEST at. Merry Christmas!!! or Mela Kahlikimaha as they say in Hawaii

Just Scootin' Along

I was looking through my facebook info the other day to make sure all of it was still current..I still love classic novels and I still can watch every episode of Criminal minds in a weekend (given the opportunity of course)
I got to the occupation section of the form and saw that I had put "Hat Wearer" as my occupation.
Before I became a wife and mother it was easy to define myself. I was what I did. I was a church planter catalyst. I was a youth pastor, I was a musician.
Now that I am a mother I feel like defining myself is an impossibility.
I remember why I put "hat wearer" in the first place because I could not condense my life into any single category.
The truth is I wear many different "hats"
I am one third of the way through a Masters of divinity degree only 60 credits to go baby!!!
I am Worship Director at The Pathway Church a position I love not for the huge 0$ pay check but for the connection we all feel as a family Sunday morning.
I am almost halfway in my battle to lose 80lbs by May 2011.
Most importantly I am a wife and mother. I try everyday to make the right decisions for my family. Sometimes as simple as "do the laundry or play Lego with Madi?"
The fact is I truly believe that everyday I do or say something that Madi will need therapy for later in life. I am her mother and I am sure I have messed her up already in some irreparable way. Luckily she has a wonderful Dad and I pray everyday that I wont mess her up more than he can fix her.
I can sometimes be weighed down by criticism. My feelings are not easily hurt and I don't often feel embarrassed. I enjoy a good joke at my expense. As a result people think they can say whatever they want to me, people say to me I did this or said this because I know you can take it, and I can. But sometimes I have bad days like everyone else and on those days I honestly feel as if I am trying to pull a double wide on a scooter.
We all need some encouragement sometimes. In the Bible God encourages us over and over again. "Be strong and courageous" "run the race so that you win the prize" "Romans 15:4
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
The truth is we all have those days. God speaks to us through the scriptures and encourages us to "have hope"

What would you do while you still could?

3 months ago I began a forced journey toward fitness. One of my best friends Christina asked me to join a booty boot camp with her. I made MANY excuses. It’s too expensive; who will watch my baby while Kyle is away? Christina went so far as to pay half of my fee for the boot camp. My brother JP babysat and my church and family kept encouraging me to stick with it.
After the first session of boot camp as I limped out feeling like death
Christina says “This is great training for the ALS Run in June!”
I say “Ya this is great training for the ALS WALK in June”
She says “You’re running this year”
Me (laughing) “I’m walking this year”
She “No you’re running”
We decided to run to and from an event that Saturday. I a grand total of 13 minutes and 1.5km I had a long way to go and only 9 weeks to get there. We did 8 weeks of booty boot camp twice a week. I ran twice a week and made sure to exercise 6 days a week. All the time the 8km run was looming.
As the run got closer, there began to be TV advertisements for the ALS run. AT the end of the ads it always asks the question “what would you do while you still could?’ the facts are that a person with ALS looses the use of their arms and legs after two years with the disease, and I have use of both.
The day of the run came faster than I thought it could. I barely slept the night before and had to call our Kyle’s mom Kim to help me to relax and focus on the right things.
We lead a church service at 8:30am and 156 people attended. Cesar preached about how God does not change and he led everyone in a prayer for salvation. One man prayed to receive Christ and spoke to Cesar after. I am sure Pastor Jesse and Jesus were watching and cheering. Pastor Jesse probably hosted the party in heaven afterwards then He and Jesus and Paul probably took on Moses and Noah and the ark angel Gabriel in a three on three-basketball tournament.
The walk started at 10 and our sane friends left us to enjoy the beautiful 5km walk. I started to feel sick. We began to run at 10:28. This was the moment we had been training for. Christine (sister) ran with me and my friend Marilynn Bartley. It was hot and hard. We got cramps and my legs felt like lead. I got to km 6 at the top of a brutal hill and I turned to Christine and said “I don’t think I can do this” she yelled back at me “YES YOU CAN!!!”
I just prayed and prayed then we were in sight of the finish line I saw so many green shirts the color for our team Jesse’s girls. Then as they saw us I heard all this yelling and screaming. They were cheering us in, Christine said “can you sprint?” I said, “I don’t have anything left.” Then I saw Kathy Morales standing at the finish line cheering and I thought about all the people I knew were praying for me. So I sprinted and crossed the finish line.
As happy as I am that I ran 8km it meant so much more to do it for a cause like ALS. My sister said it best she said, “were running for Pastor Jesse and living for Jesus”
Next year we hope to run again and raise more money but hopefully by next year they will have found the cure and we can just run in celebration.

My favorite ZOO animal

My sister Christine(heretofore referred to as Steen)and I LOVE the Calgary Zoo. We have many reasons for this love. The kids each have their favorite animals. Eli’s(3) favorite is the Potamus (commonly referred to as a Hippo) Jasmine(4) loves the giraffes and elephants as well as the baby gorilla. They both love the new dinosaurs that move. Madi (18 months) likes it all. My sister and I have a favorite animal as well. We like to observe them in their natural habitat so we have to be very stealth. The Latin term for this animal is Zooeus Mominus however they are commonly referred to as the Zoo Mom. The Zoo Mom travels most commonly in an SUV but may also be seen in high end sedans if lucky. She hides her face with layers of makeup and HUGE movie star sunglasses. The Zoo Mom can never be seen without perfectly coifed hair and usually travels in packs.
Zoo Mom’s accessorize with designer bags, strollers well designed babies. Zoo mom babies never puke on a Zoo Mom because no self respecting Zoo Mom would EVER have puke on their perfectly pressed outfit.
Zoo Mom’s push their starched and clean strollers in their designer jeans tucked into knee high boots. They sip late’s and flip their hair.
To properly view a zoo mom you must appear to be beyond their notice. The key is in the details and your full commitment to your role.
First it is suggested that you drive an old blue jeep, preferably named Bob but any jeep will do as long as it is older than your husband.
Second taken your stroller and pour diet coke, Cheerios, milk, donuts, cookie, PB and J sandwich. Make sure to rub it all in so the stains REALLY set it in properly. Make sure to leave it out in the rain by accident a few times.
Third grab the only clean clothes you own…put them on. Hair in ponytail…makeup optional…last nights remnant is fine.
Fourth bring your completely normal baby with you. Let her breathe and she will become completely filthy all on her own.
Fifth bring your sister Steen and her normal kids Jazzy and Eli.
Sixth observe away, if the Zoo Moms notice you it will only be with looks of pity.
(the pic is of Eli at the zoo)

Freedom!!!

“The more we own the more it owns us.” We strive everyday to be truly free. Free of debt or free of our unhealthy habits but what does freedom truly look like. Each day we are inundated with new things we “NEED.” A house, new pots and pans, a night out on the town. I need the new book, computer, purse. None of these things are inherently bad unless we give them more than what they deserve. The new “thing” will never make me happy. So why do I expect it to again and again. I keep believing the lie which says the more of a consumer I am the HAPPIER I will be. It is one of the many lies which has power over me. Another is Skinny=Happy, or what I do everyday as a mother to Madi (18months) is not very important. I am enslaved to these lies and they influence me almost daily. I know they are lies but I continue to believe them. The truth is the lie will continue to have power as long as I keep telling it to myself. I am enslaved to the things which should serve me.
When I think about it I lie to myself about a lot of stuff. If the truth is hard or uncomfortable I lie. If the truth is painful I lie, and I know I am not alone. For example.
Lie… I am overweight because I had a baby, and I have a slow metabolism, and I am a heavy person to begin with, and I am weight loss resistant, and I have a handicapped foot.
Truth… I am overweight because I ate too much and didn’t exercise!!! I actually do have a handicapped foot but it didn’t make me fat.
My enslavement is voluntary I choose to believe all the lies. As Christians we have died with Jesus on the cross. Like Paul says in Romans 6
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

These verses set us free from our enslavement. Christ has won victory over sin and death so we are free. But how do we as freed people respond to this new freedom? We choose to live it as Christ lived. To give our whole selves to work of God. In Christ we are made ALIVE. This is REAL freedom, sin is death but in Christ there is LIFE.

Veggie Tales

What is it about the word “Vegetable” that makes children cringe and grown men run for the nearest drive thru window? I have become extremely adept at disguising my veggies in unobtrusive little packages however every plate I clear has a tiny pile of mushroom or carrot. I’ve taken to grating, grinding and mashing, carrot, zucchini and even celery into sauces and even into pizza crust just so the Munchkins (Jazz 4, Eli 3, Madi 18 months) and their larger cohorts (Kyle 25 husband, JP 22 brother, and Mac 21 brotha from anotha motha) will eat their daily quota.
Like a hound dog they can smell a healthy meal a mile away. I should not be surprised when no one shows up for dinner on cabbage salad night. However I press ever onward toward the goal of health in mind, spirit and body for all those who live or spend time under this roof (shingles provided by JP’s roofing).
Now I’m not a freak the kids get their fair share of chicken nuggets and kraft dinner with hot dogs in it. Every kid should get some fun food. However, everything has to be balanced out. Recently madi pointed at a glass and said “coke!?!” I almost died I said “No madi not coke!!!! DIET COKE” ha ha ha I wish I could say I was joking.
Today was a battle from start to finish, last night was my last night of booty boot camp. I really enjoyed it and I moved from an obese body fat % to an acceptable body fat %. It’s great to be acceptable everyone wants to be accepted. It motivated me to once again tackle the vegetable mountain. I cooked up some pasta, green beans and baby carrots as I sang, “climbbbb evvvery moouuunnntain.”
I joyfully served it up to Jazz, Eli and Madi.
Jazz “Whahat isss this Neen?”
Me “Pasta and Vegetables”
Jazz “I don’t Lihike this Neen”
Me “You haven’t even tasted it yet”
Jazz “The souhound of it is what I don’t lihike Neen”

Cooking Roadtrip

I love to cook. I think it is because I love adventure. I love to go on a culinary adventure where I experiment and learn. However without inspiration you end up cooking the same things over and over. My friend Will McCarty has just finished culinary school in Baton Rouge and is now working in Destin Florida as a cook. He responded to my desperate cries for help over facebook with the suggestion of a cook book.
The Art Institutes American Regional Cuisine second edition.
The cookbook separates the United States into regions and then teaches about culture history and the different things which come together to make up the culinary experience in each region.
This book has inspired me to make a challenge. I am going to cook my way across America.
Starting Saturday April 10th and continuing till we reach the end I will be cooking up a menu of regional goodness and posting comments and anecdote here on Fiblabee.
Please go onto Amazon.ca to buy the cookbook and do it with me. I am excited to see what we can cook up together.
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0471682942/sr=8-1/qid=1270153583/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1270153583&sr=8-1&seller=
try to buy the used ones they are cheaper and just as good.

House Dress PART DEUX

Day one:
Wake up, baby awake, must get up and feed baby, look around dazed for house dress. Knowing this would happen the night before I hid house dress. Half dazed I glance at yoga pants on floor. I have vowed to leave yoga pants wearing to people who actually do YOGA. Rummage through closet and find jeans and long sleeve shirt. Decide to take it slow today. Feed baby, work on laundry/dishes/cleaning/bills put baby down. Hurry into the shower so as to be clean and made up for Husband when he comes home. Husband home, me clean with wet hair.
Husband fed and back to work, glance longingly at yoga pants. NO NO NO. Must stay strong. Get out makeup and hair dryer. Baby wakes up, baby this and that for the afternoon. Put away makeup and hair dryer. Cook dinner, husband home.
Dressed kind of
Clean YES
Makeup NOPE
Hair in wet ponytail

Day two
Wake up ect… much like day one. Clean but not dry by lunchtime. Since my efforts at being attractive have yet to be acknowledged I queue Kyle (25 husband).
Me “I have been wearing real clothes for the last couple days”
Kyle “Ya I noticed”
Me “well?”
Kyle “Well what?”
Me “ I have been dressing up for you! I haven’t worn yoga pants or my house dress in two days.”
Kyle “you mean the black dress you wear all the time?”
Me “ya”
Kyle “I like that dress you look great in that dress.”
Me “well steph said….(see house dress blog)”
Kyle “why didn’t you just ask me?”
Me “ I dunno…well this is just stupid”
I put on the house dress

Planny Plan Plan

For those of you who know me you will be SHOCKED to discover I have been spending a large amount of time (drum roll please) PLANNING!!!
And I LIKE it.
As Kyle (husband 25) and I have been trying to be good stewards of our money we are always looking for creative ways to SAVE money. An area we had not been looking into was the food we eat. The problem is we have so many restrictions. Here is the short list
JP
Lactose intolerant, Always in a hurry, must be easy to make, must have meat in it preferable of the NUGGET variety. Must come in a box or bag mostly prepped.
Madi
Must get Baby Formula, Must be gummable, must be able to feed it to herself (she only let me spoon feed her for a week…. independent much?) Lately she as been carrying on a continuous chorus of “me me me me me” (like the seagulls in finding Nemo) while she plays I think she may be self absorbed as well.
Kyle
Not Picky, except about cheese. Must be old cheddar by Cracker Barrel
Me
Must be healthy, must yield a lot of food. Lactose intolerant. PICKY

The struggle with eating healthy and making lifestyle changes is sometimes you get into a chicken and salad SLUMP. What’s for lunch? Chicken and salad what’s for dinner? Chicken and Salad and so on. You stop cooking and enjoying food and you drudge through your chicken and salad days munching and gnawing into oblivion…. ok I exaggerate.
But then…
CAPTAIN MEAL PLANNING to the rescue.
To save money I began to meal plan for the month. It has been a learning process but I have discovered many GREAT recipes, which cannot only be, low fat but also delicious.
It has brought me back into my kitchen and made me LOVE cooking again. The benefits are as follows.
We save money
We eat great food
WE EAT IT TOGETHER AS A FAMILY
I get to learn new and fun recipes.
I have been having a great time scouring the internet and cookbooks for recipes I can make low fat.
After each meal we all (Kyle, JP, Mac, Madi and I) vote if the meal should remain in the meal plan rotation.
It’s like Meal Plan Idol.

The House Dress

This is the story of my addiction and subsequent intervention…keep reading.
I am a mommy.
As a mommy I find whatever I put on tends to get dirty FAST. If its not baby #1 or #2 its puke or thrown food. If none of the above; my life of cooking, cleaning and other motherly duties has made me a bit of a slovenly dresser. Not to say that I don’t dress up on occasion, I do, but if I am at home dressing up consists of yoga pants (my friend Christina helped me buy one in every color from Costco) and a mostly clean shirt.
I like to think that I am simply practical. Why wear nice clothes for the baby and sometimes Kyle(25 husband)? I could wear trash bags as pants and a box for a dress with cauliflower in my hair and JP (22, basement dweller) and Mac (19, JP's bff and employee) wouldn’t notice or care if they did.
However in San Diego I came to a realization.
I am a frumpy mummy.
It hit me when I made a casual allusion to my 'house dress.' It’s a black dress I wear at home all the time. It’s my cleaning, feeding, changing dress. I throw it on because it’s easy. I keep it on because I’m lazy and if I don’t leave the house I’ll wash it and wear it again the next day.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL.
I have been friends with Stephanie (38, San Diego, like a sister to me) for almost 10 years. She has five kids and also cares for her husbands two ailing parents. She even recently acquired two golden retriever puppies. She home schools and is helping to plant a new Church called Roots Family in Temecula California. She is a super woman.
Stephanie has been a mentor to me in many areas of my life; worship, motherhood, marriage to name only a few. She taught me to play Piano and guitar and then scheduled me to play bass at church so I would be forced to learn that too. So when she told me she had to talk to me about something important, I paid attention.
Steph stammered and stumbled over her words, making excuses and trying to get out what she had planned. Finally I said “Come on Steph just say it!!!”
Steph “I have to talk to you about the house dress”
Me (laughing) “WHAT?!?”
Steph “While you have been here you have managed to wear normal clothes and do your makeup everyday.”
Me “ya”
Steph “I know you can do it at home too”
Me “But why would I?”
As Steph explained the value in showering regularly and putting on real clothes to me I realized I had had this exact same talk with my sister after the birth of her first baby. I had said “it’s good to shower and put on clothes in the morning, good for you and good for us.”
It is time to take my own advice, well I mean it’s almost time. THE CHALlENGE
Monday March 22 2010 I will begin a full week of wearing normal clothes, makeup and brushing my hair. I will look presentable when my husband comes home for lunch. I will look presentable when he gets home for dinner and I will NOT WEAR THE HOUSE DRESS OR YOGA PANTS FOR A WHOLE WEEK
Signed
Anita Catherine Broussard March 16th 2010
PS: Journal blog entries will help me chronicle the challenge

POTTY MOUTH

Potty Training
Eli (almost 3) as entered the Potty training stage. I went out and bought Gummies to reward him when he used the potty so he has been going to the potty as much as possible. The other day we began to talk about number 2 on the potty.
Me “Eli when you go (number 2) on the potty Neen will give you FIVE gummies”
Eli “ an trooo feet?” (and 2 feet)
Feet are red jujubes shaped like feet with giant big toes
Me “ok”
Eli “and beans?”
Jazz and Eli only eat Gourmet Jelly Beans they won’t even touch regular Jelly Beans
Me “ok a couple beans”
Eli “A holatta beans and saberry marmallows” (a whole lot of beans and strawberry Marshmellows)
Me “ OK fine 5 gummies, 2 feet, beans and strawberry Marshmallows”
Eli “ Neen?”
Me “ya eli?”
Eli “Just putta diaper on me Neen OK !?!”
Not only is potty training expensive it may also not be worth the fight.

The Naked Truth

Bath time at our house is always eventful. Jazz (4), Eli(almost 3), and Madi (1) all in the tub together makes for lots of fun. Getting everyone’s hair and body washed requires lots of concentration on my part and the ability of contortionism on theirs. Sometimes I forget which parts are washed and which are not.
However right after bath is everyone’s favorite time. They call it SUPERHERO time. I have allot of towels with hoods and the kids put the hoods on and race around the house “Maked”(naked), as Eli says, to dry off. As frenzied as bath time is, “maked” superhero time is even wilder.
Eventually everyone has to get dressed. I always have the same conversation every time with Eli.
Me “Ok we have to be dressed Superheroes now”
Eli (pating his chest) “I wangabe yike unca ZAYPEE” (I want to be like uncle JP)
Me “what about uncle JP?”
Eli “I wangabe maked yike unca zaypee” (I want to be naked like uncle JP)
JP(brother, basement inhabitant) is perpetually “maked.” On a good day he will have on pants, some days underwear is all you can hope for and you simply pray it isn’t the TW’s (tighty whities).
If it’s a day off he will be disrobed all day. But if he comes home from work it goes something like this.
Boots off in mud room, walking through kitchen (check fridge) coveralls off by staircase on the floor. Sit on couch, socks off. Sweater followed by T-shirt. If were lucky that is as far as it goes but if it a really bad day pants come off and he covers up with a blanket.
Since Eli only sees unca ZayPee at home he thinks he is always somewhere in the world maked. I have yet to disillusion him because the idea is hilarious. I know they have naked house cleaners (gross) but JP could rename his business
JP’s Naked Roofing
(disturbing, but funny)